The Alliance Wins by Doing Nothing
by Lord22
Summary: Threats are approaching Azeroth from all sides. The Old Gods rise from the depths. The Burning Legion plots from the Twisting Nether. And the Lich King awakens to begin his reign. In these dark times, Jaina Proudmoore has developed a bold new strategy to deal with the problem: Do nothing and hope it goes away.
1. Putting out the Crusade

**Chapter One: Putting out the Crusade**

Jaina blinked as she heard what Anduin said. She could hardly believe her ears. Granted, she should have seen it coming, what with all the propaganda about Outland. Even so, she hadn't expected anything this stupid.

Perhaps she'd misheard him. "Come again?"

Anduin paused. "I... my advisors want me to order an invasion of Outland. They want to ascertain the fate of Turylyon's expedition and purge it of the Legion. I want your advice."

"You've got to deny it, immediately," said Jaina.

"What?" asked Anduin. "But... shouldn't we do something about all this?"

"Anduin, Illidan Stormrage rules Outland," said Jaina. "Not the Legion. And Illidan Stormrage is an enemy of Kil'jaden. If we rush in there guns a blazing and topple his regime, it isn't going to result in peace and freedom instantly. It's just going to send the whole region into chaos.

"If anything, we'll be helping the Legion by destroying one of Kil'jaden's primary foes."

"But he's a demon," said Anduin.

"And that makes him and Kil'jaden friends?" asked Jaina.

"We have to act," said Anduin. "He's been enslaving the Draenei and draining Zangarmarsh."

"Draining Zangarmarsh?" asked Jaina. "Illidan's not stupid enough to do that. His primary supports are naga. Creatures that prefer to dwell in deep water. He needs Zangarmarsh."

"Well, um.." Anduin paused. "He's performing experiments that might destroy Outland."

"Why would Illidan destroy the planet he lives on?" asked Jaina.

"Because... he's evil..." said Anduin tentatively.

"You realize that most of Illidan's actions have revolved around destroying the Legion?" asked Jaina. "Or the scourge. And he saved the Blood Elves from being genocided while the Alliance was helping with it. The man is a machiavellian schemer of unprecedented power and cunning. Not a cartoon villain."

"Well what if he really is doing something to destroy Outland," said Anduin. "Maybe he's been corrupted and his demon masters-"

"Why would the legion want to destroy Outland?" asked Jaina. "It's the perfect jumping off point for an invasion of Azeroth. That's why Illidan attacked it in the first place. And even if there is cause to invade it, what are we going to invade it with?

"Anduin, Westfall is hanging on by a thread. The Defias Brotherhood is preying on the people of Stormwind. Are you really going to send our armies away while your kingdom verges on collapse?"

"But the Horde is going there," said Anduin.

"That's their own business," said Jaina. "I tried to talk Thrall out of it, but the Horde wants a war. They're just looking for an excuse. And Illidan is a convenient target.

"Anyway, you can't do anything about this situation. And you shouldn't do anything about this situation. So, don't. Fix your country, restore order, and then you can think about fighting demons."

"Well, what about Turylyon's expedition?" asked Anduin. "They might still be alive."

"Excellent point," said Jaina. "I'll get Tyrande Whisperwind to send a polite letter to Illidan. We'll ask for information. And also try to convince him to scale back any excesses he might be performing."

* * *

A week later, Jaina walked into Anduin's office. "So I heard back.

"It turns out that Turylyon's Expedition has survived and maintains several fortresses. I've convinced Lord Illidan to allow them safe passage back to Azeroth and out of his territory."

"But we're losing ground," said Anduin.

"Outland isn't valuable ground anyway," said Jaina with a shrug. "Most of it is desert, and I doubt the soldiers will mind. They've been trapped away from home for over fifteen years. Do you want to be the one to tell them to stay put?"

"I guess not," said Anduin.

* * *

A few days after that, Jaina met Thrall on Razor Hill. The Warchief looked flustered and upset. "Jaina, you've ordered your forces to withdraw from Outland?"

Jaina shrugged. "Yes. They've been gone a long time and I didn't feel right asking them to fight another war."

"But without the Alliance Illidan will be practically unchecked." said Thrall. "The Horde is already hard pressed."

Jaina sighed. "Thrall, I told you this was a bad idea from the very start. The war in Outland is just a land grab under the pretense of fighting the Legion. Illidan is Kil'jaden's enemy. All the imaginary atrocities aren't going to change that."

"Are we not allies?" asked Thrall.

"We have a mutual defense treaty Thrall," said Jaina. "But I'm not obligated to help you launch unprovoked annexations of sovereign nations."

"Draenor is our ancient homeland," said Thrall.

"Lordaeron is ours," said Jaina.

That made Thrall be quiet for a moment. He shifted. "...The war is going badly for us. How can I withdraw without compromising my status as Warchief."

Now they got to it. "Alright, let me see," said Jaina. "I've some favor with Illidan. I think I could conclude a truce between you if I got Tyrande to talk with him. You agree to leave with all the orcs who do not wish to serve him, and he lets you go. Before the evacuation, you launch an attack on some of the Legion resistance forces. Declare victory and go home."

"You wish us to abandon Draenor?" asked Thrall.

"It's a blasted, ruined, wasteland, Thrall," said Jaina flatly. "Your people invaded Azeroth to get away from it. They'll probably be better off in Kalimdor anyway."

Thrall nodded. "You're probably right."

After that, Jaina was able to get Tyrande to convince Illidan to adopt several new policies. These helped his rule become more stable. It also helped to fix a number of grievances.

Meanwhile, the returning troops from Outland helped the Alliance restore order. The Defias Brotherhood was finally put down and order was restored with an iron fist. Thus Jaina Proudmoore averted a war and made the Alliance much stronger.

There were few things better than winning by doing nothing.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

This fanfic is an account of what happens if you don't play World of Warcraft. Because let's face it, the Alliance and Horde cause more problems than they solve. Enjoy.

My assessment of the quests in Burning Crusade is that the entire thing is propaganda. Kael'thas, Illidan and Vashj were just minding their own business when you came in and murdered them. The whole thing about summoning Kil'jaden is just a cover story. One Lor'themar made up to justify murdering Kael'thas and putting himself on the throne.

Yes, this does render the entire storyline as a result of an unreliable narrator. But it makes more sense than canon.


	2. Indifference of the Lich King

**Chapter Two: Indifference of the Lich King**

Jaina and the Council of the Alliance listened carefully to Bolvar Foredragon. He talked on and on about how the recent incursions by the Lich King meant they needed unity. How clearly there was only one man fit for the job. What Jaina didn't understand was how they could think she'd buy into this nonsense?

"...and so, King Varian Wrynn should be made the head of the Alliance," said Bolvar.

Jaina looked to Tyrande and Tirion Fordring, then back to the messenger. "No."

Bolvar halted, taken off guard by that one word. "What?"

"No, we refuse to acknowledge Varian Wrynn as head of the Alliance," said Jaina with a shrug. "Next item on the agenda."

"But why?" said Bolvar.

"Do I really need to explain why?" asked Tyrande. "Varian Wrynn has no accomplishments."

"Yeah," said Jaina, "I mean I know he means well. But the only things he's done is drive his nation into civil war. He completely mismanaged the Stonemason situation."

"He killed Onyxia," said Bolvar.

"No, fifty bold adventurers killed Onyxia," said Jaina. "Varian Wrynn took credit for it after I put him back on the throne. Do you think we don't know how he came to power? Besides, I faced down Archimonde. And Tyrande Whisperwind has millennia of combat experience. You don't see us trying to make ourselves High King in all but name."

"He did send Garithos to help the Kirin Tor against the scourge," said Tirion.

"And we all know how well that turned out," said Jaina.

"But Stormwind is of symbolic significance," said Bolvar.

"No it isn't," said Jaina. "Lordaeron founded the Alliance. Stormwind didn't even exist when it was founded. If you wanted to pick someone of symbolic significance Khaz Modan would be better."

Bolvar fell silent and sat down. Tirion looked around. "Why don't we move on to more pressing matters."

"Right," said Jaina. "Well, I am now convinced that Arthas is fighting from the inside to try and contain the darkness."

Tirion facepalmed. "Lady Proudmoore, is this a joke?"

"No, it's the sad truth," said Jaina. "His invasion of Azeroth was slipshod at best. Say what you want about Arthas, but he's a tactical genius. If he were trying to kill us off, he'd have done it. I couldn't stop him."

"The Ashbringer-" said Tirion.

"Yes, I know you drove him off on holy ground." said Jaina. "But that strategy itself was out of character. Arthas as a death knight always led from the front. He wouldn't send Darion to die, he'd lead the charge and slaughter his way through the armies of his enemies.

"I suspect that he allowed the Ebon Blade to break free. Probably as a measure of defiance against the spirits possessing him. It's the only explanation for what is happening."

Tirion considered this. "...That would explain why he has been dormant so long. But if he has launched an assault it must mean the powers of darkness are winning. We must press our advantage before he can muster more forces."

"Alternatively he might be trying to feed his forces to us gradually to cull the scourge," said Tyrande.

"Or perhaps he is deliberately trying to make a small group of heroes much stronger gradually," said Bolvar. "So that when he eventually kills them and resurrects them, he'll be even stronger."

Dead silence as everyone stared at Bolvar.

"Bolvar, that is absurd," said Tyrande. "The armies he lost in this expedition are worth far more than any set of heroes."

"In any case, we must go into the heart of darkness itself," said Tirion. "We must enter Northrend and slay the Lich King. Once and for all."

At that moment, there was a flash of light. They recoiled back as the fairest of all creatures touched down before them. Alexstrasza, the Lifebinder herself, stood before them. "If only it were that simple, noble paladin."

"Alexstrasza? What has brought you here?" asked Bolvar.

"I bear news," said Alexstrasza. "The armies of the Lich King are massive beyond compare. Only Arthas is preventing them from washing over the world and wiping it out. If you were to slay him and leave no one in his place, the scourge will be free to rampage unchecked. All life will be extinguished."

"Wow," said Jaina, "I'm glad you told us this information right away. Can you imagine if you'd kept it secret till the last minute? Now we can plan a strategy around this new information."

"Indeed," said Tirion. "We must replace him."

"That's a good idea," said Jaina. "We can have someone don the Helm of Dominion and just order the scourge to walk into a lava pit."

"The nature of the Helm of Dominion is such that the Lich King cannot destroy the scourge," said Alexstrasza. "It was a precaution put in place by the Legion.

"Therefore, you must go into Northrend and defeat Arthas. Then a willing subject must make the sacrifice to contain the scourge. This person will be able to prevent the scourge from ever truly attacking the living though they will always be a threat. There must always be a Lich King."

Dead silence as everyone looked to Bolvar. "What?"

"We just... thought you'd have some input," said Tirion.

"I... guess I could volunteer," said Bolvar.

"Wait a moment," said Jaina. "Arthas already contains the scourge."

Alexstrasza shifted. "Well, yes, but um..."

"And Arthas is the most powerful wielder of necromantic magic on the planet," said Jaina. "What are the chances that some fighter, however loyal, will be able to do as good a job as him?"

"Well... we might ask Sylvanas," said Bolvar.

Everyone stared at him.

"I'll see myself out," said Bolvar, before standing and walking out.

Tirion looked to Alexstrasza. "So let me see if I have this straight, Queen Alexstrasza. You want us to bankrupt our treasuries, lose thousands of lives, and invade the Heart of Darkness. And then, just for an encore, go have a swordfight with a god.

"All so we can be right back where we started after we're done in a best-case scenario."

Alexstrasza looked suddenly, very nervous. "Well... we could keep the fact that the Lich King is alive a secret. So the world could live free from fear of the Lich King."

"But that would be a bad thing," said Jaina. "If nobody knows the Lich King is still a threat, they'll grow complacent. We'll be taken completely off guard if they invade again."

"Oh," said Alexstrasza.

"Well," said Tirion, "I think that just about sums things up. I'll cancel the plans for the invasion. We have literally no reason to fight Arthas at this point."

* * *

_King Arthas,_

_The Silver Hand appreciates your heroic sacrifice in keeping the scourge at bay. We also appreciate you deliberately mismanaging the scourge so humanity could triumph. This was a deliberate strategy, wasn't it? There's no way that attack on Azeroth was actually meant to defeat us._

_Because if it was, boy did it fail._

_Sincerely,_

_Tirion Fordring_

Arthas finished the letter, feeling very irritated. Lowering it he looked up from his dark throne to Kel'thuzad. "...Kel'thuzad."

"Yes," said Kel'thuzad.

"The next time I order an invasion while drunk, I command you not to obey the order," said Arthas.

"Yes, milord," said Kel'thuzad.

Arthas sighed. "I really should try and regain some credibility here."

"So what are you going to do?" asked Kel'thuzad. "I'll take an army down to Undercity and completely obliterate the Forsaken. Then we'll draw back to Stratholme.

"Hopefully that will provoke them into an invasion."

"I don't think anyone will care, milord," said Kel'thuzad.

"Well, fine, we'll do it anyway!" snapped Arthas.

Thus the Lich King descended on undercity. The defenses were overrun in minutes. All who stood before them were cut down, and none could stand against him. In the end, Sylvanas was seized and dragged back to Northrend in chains. This would have serious repercussions, however.

Without someone to rally against, the Scarlet Crusade collapsed. Without a clear and present danger from the undead, people joined the Argent Dawn en masse. Meanwhile, a major point of contention between Alliance and Horde was resolved.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So yeah.

Wrath of the Lich King is one of the worst character defilements in the history of derailed villains. The Lich King bears absolutely no resemblance to Ner'zhul or Arthas in any way, shape or form. None of the traits of either character carry forth into Arthas as he is presented. The fusion of a scheming magnificent bastard who outgambitted Archimonde and the biggest badass in Warcraft History is portrayed as a bumbling, generic, evil overlord with no victories.

And what really gets to me is that it would have been so simple to salvage him. All you'd have to do is have Varimathras be working for the Lich King when he betrays Sylvanas. This instantly gives Arthas a clear victory. It turned Wrathgate into a curb stomp on his part that establishes very clearly that defeating the scourge as a whole is hopeless. It also allows Arthas to regain Lordaeron City, which would be a logical goal for him and makes the conflict less onesided.

Then, when Tirion confronts Arthas the second time, Arthas totally owns him. He would also totally own Sylvanas and Jaina in their respective fights, both at the same time. Your characters have to come to their rescue. This would give him very real credibility as a badass.

None of these changes would have altered the story beats in any significant way. All it would take is changing a few animations and a few different dialogue options.

For all their talk about the lore, it's blatantly obvious that no one who was writing Wrath of the Lich King made any attempt to make Arthas in character, a credible threat, or a compelling villain.

In fact, I've contemplated rewriting Wrath of the Lich King. Think I should do it?


End file.
